Changes

We were notified that school was canceled for an additional 3 days, however, after that, we would be bused to another middle school in another town. They decided that the middle school we were going to would do their classes from 8am-12, and then our school would show up for classes at 1pm and go until 5pm, until either our school got rebuilt or we were out for the summer.. which ever came first. Though in the begining it sounded great.. I could always sleep in but on the other hand, I didn't get home til sometimes after 6pm at night because the school was further away and we'd have to travel through rush hour traffic.

It didn't dawn on me at first that that meant more time riding the bus. We returned to school on a Thursday and the 1st few days were really hectic. No one knew were anything was at the new school so finding your classes took much longer. Lucky for me, the topic of the school burning was all the talk so my bus rides were pretty uneventful for during that time. O'Neil would still sit in my seat but normally he'd turn his back to me and talk to his friends and family. Not to say that there was NEVER a snide remark from him, or the occational slap on my butt here and there, but some how I tolerated it. I was just glad he wasn't trying anything like he had before.

I started to think that maybe that was the end of it. I could deal with his crap as long as he didn't touch me like that again. It's sad really, that you rationalize things that way when faced with a choice. What's the lesser of 2 evils? Definately him just smaking me every so often than the alternative. I still never knew when he'd blow up and become angry at me for reasons I never understood, or try to put his hand up my skirt again.

The uneventful bus rides only lasted about a week and he reverted back to how he treated me before. This time though, he took advantage of the long ride for his own benefit. One afternoon on the way to school, he boarded the bus and, like always, sat next to me. As he sat down he turned to me, "So.. you wanna go out with me, or what?"

(nervous giggle) "What??" I asked

"Don't make me repeat myself, bitch"

"OH.. umm.. no thanks. Sorry.. I'm not allowed to date yet"

"You're kidding me right?"

"No.. I'm not kidding. My parents said I can't date anyone til I'm older. So, no.. I won't go out with you"

SLAP! "Don't fucking tell me no, Bitch! It wasn't a choice, really!"

My face hurt. He somehow was able to get enough momentum to slap me across the face, leaving a red handprint. The few people around me that heard or saw, just turned away. They didn't want to get involved. His friends laughed, egging him on, telling him to try to make me cry. Or better yet, maybe I'd 'fall down' again. They seemed to feed off of my humiliation.

I just stared at him in shock as I rubbed my cheek. I didin't know what to say, so I said nothing at all.

"Good.. then it's settled. You're my bitch" He said as his friends laughed

I turned and just stared out the window, reverting inwards.

How did I get to THIS point? Now what am I going to do? It's obvious I can't break up with him.. look at what he just did when I said I wasn't allowed to date!!

For the remainder of the bus ride I kept my back towards him wishing we'd arrive at school any minute. We finally arrived 15 minutes later and as I tried to exit the bus, he came up behind me and grabbed my ass again. Automatically, I whorled around ready to yell, but when I saw his face I said nothing. I turned on my heels and attempted to continue walking. Just as I was about an arms length away, he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me back.

"Don't forget to give me a kiss goodbye" He said

What?? Oh my god.. oh my god.. oh my god! I don't want to kiss him! He's so gross! I WANT to knee him in the nuts, spit in his face, then kick him again when he's down.

Instead, I just froze. He pulls me closer to him, his chest pressed against my back but still doesnt' let go of my hair. I wouldn't move voluntarily so he turns me around to face him and leans in to kiss me. I don't kiss back, I WON'T kiss him back. I am frozen like a statue and my body goes rigid at his touch. I can feel the bile rising in my throat but I know better than to throw up on him. He would surely kick my ass if I did.

During this time, I look around to see who's watching and to see where the bus driver went. He's still sitting at the drivers seat, but looking at us by way of the large mirror mounted above his head. O'Neil finally lets me go and I walk quickly down the isle as O'Neil follows me. In passing, I can hear the bus driver say to O'Neil: "OH! Good for you! You finally got her!" and gives O'Neil a high-5.

I was beyond mortified. I wanted the world to open up and swallow me whole. I can hear the whispers and murmers of my fellow riders talking about me kissing him, all wondering what I was thinking and how gross that was. HA! Please! You have NO idea what's gross until you can feel his thick disgusting tonge trying to pry your lips open to slip it inside your mouth as he still has you by the hair. I thought to myself as I quickly ran down the stairs. I made a beeline for homeroom, but I could hear Vanessa calling my name behind me. I didn't stop or turn around. I wanted to be gone. I didn't want to hear what Vanessa had to say.