Cause and Effect

The next few days I tried to make my decision. I knew what I SHOULD do; press charges on all of them, but what I wanted to do was completely different. I wanted to just forget it all happened. I wanted to go back to my old life before any of this had started. I also knew that if I did decide to press charges, the process would not be a quick one. It could take a very long time, years even, before this was all over. I didn't want the WHOLE school to know about what happened to me and I didn't want to be known all over school as the person that got the VP fired. I didn't want the reputation that that would bring to follow me for the rest of my school days, being known as a trouble maker to other teachers and office professionals... at least thats what my brain kept telling me.

The following Sunday, my mom sat me down to ask me what my decision was. I knew she would be disappointed in what I had decided and I was a little nervous telling her. Even though she told me before that her and my dad would be supportive in either decision, I knew what she wanted me to do.

"Mom... I don't want to do it. I just want to forget this all happened. I don't want everyone to know what has been going on. I just want to be a KID. A kid without all this... this.. CRAP!"

She sat there quietly before responding, "I understand, J and I'm not going to talk you into doing anything you don't want to do. BUT! Just think about this.. do you think it's right that they get away with this? Any of them?"

"NO! Of course not! But Mom! I don't want to be the kid that's responsible for having them punished. I'm just a kid! I don't want that responsibility!"

"I understand. Though you won't be the one responsible for having them punished, that's what the courts and a jury if it came to that, is for. You would only be bringing to light what they let continue to happen to you and make O'Neil responsible for what he did. But, like I said to you the other day... We will stand behind you in whatever decision you decide.I just want you to know that from now on, 1 of us will be taking you to school and 1 of us will be driving you home. You don't have to ride the bus any more."

I thanked her and as I got up to walk away, she reached over and gave me the biggest and hardest hug I had ever felt. I returned the hug and went back into my room very glad that I no longer had to deal with O'Neil or the driver.

I had no idea how that decision would have effected me for a very long time.

The following morning, I called Vanessa early and asked her if she wanted to ride with me. Of course she said yes and we picked her up as my dad drove us to school. Throughout the rest of the year I had become closer friends with Amy and Leti. They were in a few of my classes with me and though Vanessa was still my best friend, I hardly saw her at school. Soon, the only times I really saw Vanessa was at lunch and the rides to and from school.

My weekends were filled with outings with Amy or Leti or even Angie from down the street. Amy belonged to a church youth group that planned activites for Friday and Saturday nights. Sometimes it was just a trip to the movies, sometimes it was a trip to teen dance clubs and I occasionally tagged along. One Friday night the group was going to the Down Town area. There, they had many clubs, bars, shops and some game rooms. Since we were obviously under age, we weren't allowe into the bars, but the rest of the small town we would always find adventure. There was even a haunted house there that was open year round. The youth group seperated into smaller groups and Amy and I went our own way with promises to meet everyone back in the middle of town by 10:30pm.

We had decided to start in one of the bigger buildings which was 4 stories, and work our way around. Looking in all the shops, going up to the game floor and even ducking into a teenage dance club for a few minutes. During the night, Amy and I had passed by 3 older guys many times. Each time we passed, they would try to flirt with us, try to get us to talk to them, but we would just giggle and keep walking.

By the end of the night one of the three guys finally approached Amy and struck up a conversation while I had ran to grab us some drinks. He introduced himself as Johnny and his friends were Tony and Eric. Tony quickly made it clear he was interested in Amy and while Johnny drilled Amy to get information about me. By the time I had returned, Amy had already given the guys our names and numbers.

Johnny was definately older than us (hell.. we were only 13). He stood about 5'10", hispanic with black wavy hair. Tony looked as though he could be a GQ model. He was taller than Johnny but with a firm muscular body and light brown eyes. You could tell by the way Johnny talked he was the alpha in his group and I found it flattering that he was interested in me. I wasn't old enough to offically start dating yet, so I was pretty nervous around him.

Before either of us had realized it, it was 10:45pm and we were VERY late to meet up with the group. I informed Amy that we had to leave right away and said our goodbyes to the guys. Johnny leaned in for a kiss, but I was startled and turned away, leaving him my cheek to kiss instead. Tony did the same to Amy, however she let him kiss her on the mouth. Shortly after we ran off to meet everyone else.

On the way home, Amy filled me in on the conversation she had with them while I was gone. I never even thought to ask any of them how old they were, but at some point Johnny told her. He said he was 19, Tony was 18 and Eric was 20. My mouth gapped open... he was 6 years older than me! No way would my parents go for that even if I was ALLOWED to date!! I would have to try to keep him a secret if he ever called me.

I didn't have to wait long to hear from him. Sunday night my phone rang and it was him. We had a great 30 min. conversation and made plans to meet back up in the same spot the following Friday night. As soon as I hung up with him, I called Amy. She had just gotten off the phone with Tony and we exchanged stories and made plans for the next weekend.

I had no idea how that decision, just like my other one, would have effected me for the rest of my life.