Breaking it to Mom

**Sorry this is so late guys. I was being a MAJOR procrastinator this week.** :)

While we all waited for my mom to get home, things around the house were the same as usual; laying in front of the T.V. contemplating what we were having for dinner. Just before 5pm the phone rang and it was my mom letting us know she was on her way home. You could feel the tension rise in the air again as we all waited for her to arrive.

Within a half an hour the garage door began to open and my dad went out to meet her in the garage. They made idle chat while coming into the house and I tried to act nonchalant about her being home.

"Hey J"

"Hey mom. How was your day"

"Mine was O.K., but more importantly.. how was yours?"

"Fine" was all I could muster up at the moment. I didn't know when or how the subject was going to come up, but I knew it was and soon.

"Where's your brother and has anyone decided what we're going to do for dinner?"

"He's in his room and I was just saying to Dad that I was in the mood for pizza"

"Sounds fine to me, someone order it" and with that, she headed towards her room to change. My dad gave me a quick glance and followed behind her.

I headed over to the phone to order the pizza, but not before I went to tell my brother that mom was home and to expect the conversation any time.

"I'll just stay in here until she calls for me or the pizza gets here.. whatever comes first" He said without looking from the T.V. I nodded my head and closed the door behind me.

Ordering the pizza didn't take as long as I had hoped. I was really dreading the upcoming conversation about today's activities. As I hung up the phone I heard coming from the other side of the house, coming from my parent's bedroom..

"WHAT!" It was my mother and I knew then that my dad had started the conversation. I stayed seated at the desk in the family room not wanting to venture out and come face to face with my mother at that time. I heard their bedroom door fling open and she was calling for my brother. Using his FULL name. I knew then he was in deep shit. I ran from the family room through the dining room then the kitchen and got to the living room just as my mom was passing headed towards my brother's room.

"Mom" I wanted her attention. I wanted to talk to her before she talked to my brother. I wanted to tell her it wasn't his fault. O.K., yea.. they shouldn't have tried to attack O'Neil the way the did, but still.. the rest of the day wasn't his fault exactly. The shootings DEFINITELY weren't his fault anyway.

However, she kept walking. "MOM!! Please!! Just listen to me for a second!! I want to tell you what happened!"

"I want to hear it from your brother!" turning away from me, she called for him again. He slowly opened his bedroom door and stood in the doorway, not knowing what to expect. "Come out here. I want to talk to you!"

We all gathered around the table, just like my brother and I had with my dad just a few hours ago. "So, tell me what happened and don't leave out a THING!"

My brother began the story from when he received her phone call just after he got home from school leading up to when my dad came home. Of course.. thankfully, he left out the part about me smoking. Guess he didn't want to be in even MORE hot water than he already was. Throughout our conversation, the pizza had arrived and we started eating with the only interruption being my mom going out to look at his car. To every one's surprise she wasn't all that upset after she heard the entire story. At least, she wasn't all that mad at me or my brother anyway.

As we cleaned up our dishes from dinner, my brother had gone back into his room and my dad revisited the topic of me seeing a shrink. Though I had earlier agreed to go see someone, the thought of spilling my guts was starting to make me nervous.

Would it be easier to talk to someone about this that I don't know? Will they really be able to help? Do I really NEED the help? Can't I just forget all this happened???

I guess I was soon going to find out. The next day my dad made me an appointment with a local psychologist, my first appointment was 2 days away.