Here's To Forgetting

When I finally made it off the bus, Vanessa was waiting for me. She apparently saw what happened, at least the slap and the hair pull anyway.

"Don't say anything! I don't want to talk about it!!" I said to her as I walked past.

She caught up with me and we walked in silence to her house. When we arrived at her drive way she stopped and grabbed me by the arm. "J, he can't keep doing this! It's not right!"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it!" I yelled, "Actually, I'm just gonna go home. I'll see you later" I mumbled and walked off.

I walked the two blocks with my head down, kicking a pebble I had found. I didn't want to be around anyone. I wanted to be left alone. I hoped my brother wasn't off work today, I wanted the house to myself. As I rounded the last street, I was happy to see that his car wasn't in the driveway. After doing my regular afternoon routine (letting the dog out to go to the bathroom, grabbing a snack, etc) I retreated into my room.

It wasn't more than 20 minutes later when I heard the doorbell ring. I rolled my eyes, sighed, and went to see who it was. My friend Angie, who lived a few houses down and was closer to my brother's age, who also went to his school, was there. I sighed again. I didn't want to deal with her. She was always so happy and chipper and that WASN'T the mood I was in. She had her dog Q-Tip with her so she didn't ask to come in, but instead asked if I could stand outside and chat. I grabbed the house phone (this was before cellphones of course) and walked outside.

"What's wrong, girlie?" She asked, noticing my foul mood.

"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it"

She shrugged and continued to talk about the latest guy she had a crush on. Noticing that I wasn't replying as much she finally stopped babbling on and sat down next to me in the grass.

"Since you don't want to TALK about it.. do you want to do something so at least you'll forget about it for awhile?"

"Umm.. what did you have in mind?"

"Just come over to my house and we'll find something to do"

I agreed, called my mom at work and told her I'd be at Angies and we left. Both of her sisters were home (Andie who is younger and April who is older) so was her step-dad so we decided to hang out in her bedroom. She left to get us a drink and came back with 2 plastic cups. I thought it was juice of some sort so I grabbed mine and took a long drink.

"YUCK! What the hell is that??"

"Ohhhh" she laughed, "It's cranberry juice and vodka"

"umm.. I don't think I should be drinking this" I remarked, taking a better look at the drink.

"Well, you said you wanted to forget about whatever has you in a funk. So I figured this would be a good way. It really doesn't taste that bad once you get used to it"

I took a sip from the cup and felt it burn down my throat. After a few more sips, I don't know if I finally DID get used to it, or my throat was so raw I couldn't taste anything anymore. I finished my cup and she refilled it once more. I drank that cup more quickly as we sat on her bed and listened to the radio and chatted about our Christmas.

The next time I looked at the clock it was 5:30 and I knew my parents would be home any minute. I jumped off the bed to quickly throw my shoes on, but instead fell head first onto the floor. It hurt, but all I could do was laugh. By the time I stopped laughing, I had forgotten what I was laughing at. Why was I acting like this? What's so damn funny? And why does my head hurt??

Oh shit!! I was drunk! I was 13 and so drunk I couldn't even stand up!! How the HELL was I gonna walk home? Oh my God! My parents are going to FRREEEAAKK!!

Angie was gracious enough to offer to walk me home. That was a good thing, since I needed to lean on her to walk. After walking into 3 trees, we made it to my driveway.

"Can you make it the rest of the way yourself?" She asked

"Umm.. let me try. Oh look!! They're not home yet! YAY!"

I took 2 steps without her and ended up on the ground. She helped me up and we made it inside my house with little problems. The light on the answering machine was blinking, so I pushed the button and listened.

"Hey, it's Mom. I'm gonna have to work late tonight, so is your Dad. I hope to leave about 6:30. If you get hungry eat without us. Call me when you get home. Love you, bye."

I sighed a relief that I wasn't going to be busted right away. Angie took one look at me and realized I shouldn't be left alone. She grabbed the phone and called my brother at work. I could hear him yell on the other end, but he promised to be home in 15 minutes.

By the time she hung up, I apparently looked green because she went to get me a trash can. Before 15 minutes were up, I heard my brother's car pull into the drive and a minute later the front door opened.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!!" He screamed at me

I could barely open my eyes at this point and turning my head was completely out of the question.

"She's drunk" Angie whispered

"I KNOW she's drunk! Why the fuck IS she drunk!? She's only 13 years old!! Who the fuck got her drunk!?"

"I did" Angie whispered even more quiet

If I thought my brother would ever hit a women, it would have been then. He was livid.

"What's that smell? Did she puke or something?"

"Yea.. like 3 times since I called you"

"OH shit! That's not just regular drunk puking. I think she has alcohol poisoning! You're a fucking idiot Angie! What the fuck is wrong with you? Getting my 13 year old sister drunk! AT WHAT POINT DID THAT SEEM LIKE A GOOD FUCKING IDEA!!"

"I'm O.K. I just want to sleep. Stop yelling. Stop pacing, you're making me dizzy" I mumbled into the couch

"I'm not pacing, J. I'm standing still!! Does anything hurt? Are you gonna puke again? I think I should call Mom."

"No!" I tried to yell and sit up, neither worked. "No, you can't call Mom OR Dad. They'll kill me!" I had slumped back onto the couch face first

"We need to get you sobbered up some before they get home, which could be any minute."

"Oh, your Mom called and said her and your Dad are working late and probably won't be home before 7" Angie chimmed in

"Fine. But you still need to sobber up. I'll get you some bread and milk. Angie, take her into the bathroom and make her shower. She reeks of puke"

With my brother's help, they walked me into the bathroom. My brother went to get me something to eat while Angie helped me undress and get in. When Angie thought I could steady myself, she let go of my arm. Instantly, I teetered, slipped and landed on the shower floor. That was the last thing I remembered. I woke up in my bed, covered in a towell and had no idea what time it was, how I had gotten there, or why my head hurt.. AGAIN.