The time was getting close and Amy and I had to be home soon. We all piled back into the car and headed to Amy's house to drop her off first. Amy and Tony said their goodbyes with a lot of kissing and hands wondering while the rest of us acted like we didn't notice.
Jasper was silent in the backseat, looking like someone just kicked his dog and Johnny was trying to see how far I'd let his hand go up my leg. Finally, Amy walked into her house, Tony got back in the car and we headed to my house.
We pulled into my drive 15 min later and I was nervous of what kind of goodbye Johnny and I would have after watching Amy and Tony. I exited the car and walked up to the front door with Johnny behind me. I wasn't about to offer him inside so I turned around to say my goodbyes there.
He pulled me in for a hug and kissed along my neck. My mind was fighting my body. It felt wonderful, but my brain was telling me to have him stop. Stop before it went too far. We stood there and made out like the teenager I was. Luckily, I heard a car coming down the road and before Johnny's hands had made contact with my ass, my brother rounded the turn.
I pulled back from Johnny, a little breathless, "Uh.. you have to go! Now! That's my brother!"
He looked in the direction of my brother's car and glanced back at me with a look on his face like "I don't give a shit". But my urging and me physically pushing him away made changed his mind. He gave me 1 last kiss goodbye and walked to his car.
"Call me later tonight! I have a question for you!" I hollard after him and unlocked the door.
My brother was waiting to pull into the drive way as Johnny was pulling out. I could tell my brother wasn't happy as he made his way to the front door. I tried to act casual, but it didn't work.
"Who was that?"
"Oh.. just some friends. They gave me a ride home."
"J.. you're in middle school. None of your friends are old enough to drive yet. Who was that!?"
"They were friends of Amy's, from high school."
"Why did he walk you to the door? He looks a little too old to be in high school." he replied skeptically.
"Oh well.. he's 19. Got held back or something. Anyway.. why are you home so early? I thought you were working tonight?" I tried to change the subject as fast as I could. I always had a hard time lying to my brother.
"They took me off the schedule since I'm leaving this weekend for the Army"
"Wait! What?? I thought you weren't leaving for a few more weeks or like a month or something!? Why did it change? Why so soon?"
"Because the unit I'll be assigned to because of the job I selected is going through bootcamp next week and they didn't want me to be behind"
Well that just ruined a nice day. I had no idea how my parents were going to react to that, but I knew it wasn't going to be good. At least with that going on tonight, they won't ask me too many questions about what I did in school that day or anything else. At least the pressure was off me for the time being but I knew as soon as my brother left for boot camp, there would not be anyone else to distract them from the things I did.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
A little off topic
Well, I was feeling a little better last night and had decided to write a post today. It was going to relate to the other posts, but then, before I got a chance to write anything, my Dr's office called to check on me to see how I was feeling.
When I told the nurse that even though I have been off the latest antibiotics for 3 days now, I'm still not feeling better which is surprising because normally within a few days of taking antibiotics I'm usually back to my old self and don't really need the remainder. She put me on hold while she spoke to the Dr. and came back to say he wanted to see me in an hour to 'rule out anything else'.
I changed out of my warm PJ's and headed over. Even though she told me that they were going to fit me in, in between his other appointments, I had hoped I wouldn't have to wait very long. I sat in the waiting room for another hour, as there were 4 other people ahead of me that actually HAD appointments.
I was finally called back and the nurse did the normal stuff. Blood pressure (was good), weight (lost 4 lbs in 10 days.. idk if that's good or not lol) and temp (had a low grade fever. My normal body temp is lower than average.. it's usually 97.6, temp today was 99.8. So for a regular person, that would be 100.8 so it wasn't real bad compared to 10 days ago). Anyhow!
Finally got back into the room, Doc came in, asked if I was pregnant, I answered with "OMG! I hope to God not!!" he laughed.. but asked again. I said no (and crossed my fingers that that was true) and he sent me for a few lung xrays. 3 xrays later I was back in the room waiting for him.
He came in shortly after to tell me that my lungs look excellent. I inquired if there were ANY dark spots on my lungs, he said no and asked why. I told him I was a smoker (still) and he looked shocked. Said he couldn't tell by my xrays, said he even compared them to the xrays from 2004 and 2001 and that there's no signs of 'smokers lungs'. I was elated from that news. However, my excitement didn't last long.
He wanted to listen to my lungs again just to make sure they sounded O.K. and in the process, listen to my heart as well. Lungs sounded good, so my Bronchitis is pretty much gone, with just a little still lingering.
However, in the mists of listening to my heart, he got all excited.
Dr: "Wow! This is incredible! Mary (the nurse) you want to hear this?"
Mary: "Sure?! What am I supposed to be listening to?"
Dr: (to Mary) She has a Mitral Valve Prolapse.
Dr: (to me) In all the years I've been practicing medicine, I've never heard it so loud and clear before!
I just sat still in a daze while the nurse took her turn listening to my heart.
Mary: (to Dr) Wow! You really can hear it! Thump, thump, click.. thump, thump, click.
Dr: (to me) I've never heard this before today. You've never had heart problems, have you? Mary, check her chart.
She handed the stethascope back to the Dr. and he took a seat, rolling up close to me while she thumbed through the pages of my medical history.
Mary: (to Dr) No. There's no record of it in here.
Dr: I didn't think so.. I would have remembered this. (to me) You've been coming to me since you were what.. 7? And you've never had any heart issues?
Me: Yea, I was 7 and no, I never have.
I just sat there and stared at him.
Me: So.. um... what does this mean?
Dr: Well, it means that your left valve is not closing properly when releasing the blood out of your heart and blood is being pooled back in.
I just sat there and stared at him some more. I didn't know what to say or what to ask, there were so many things bouncing around in my head.
Me: Umm.. O.K. So.. now what?
Dr: Well, I want to keep an eye on this. There's really no course of treatment pill wise and until it progresses to a dangerous level, there's nothing to do. Once it does progress, you'll have to have surgery and either have the valve completely replaced or a shunt-type device will be inserted. I want to see you back in 6 wks for a recheck.
Me: What caused this? Can you tell?
Dr: At this time, I can't be sure. It could be the med's you're on for your Thyroid as a side effect. It could be the med's you were on for this cold that weakened the valve, it could be because heart problems run in your family. There's a lot of factors.
Me: Can it be reversed? I mean, if I went off my Thyroid meds, would it reverese this problem? If I started back working out, would that help? Is there anything I can do to fix this without surgery?
Dr: The damamge is done, from what, I cannot say. Yes, working out will strengthen your heart, however, over excerising can also damage it more. Take it easy for now. If you really want to excerise, I suggest something easy like walking. Don't go getting a gym membership and running on tread mills right now.
I couldn't think of anything else to ask at the moment and he sat there waiting patiently. When I looked up at him, I just shrugged as if to say; "well.. that's it then".
He gave me a hug, told me to get my script filled for some steriods and if I had any other questions, call or come in and if these steroids don't help my cold any, to come back in 10 days.
He walked to the door, opened it, looked back at me with a sympathetic smile and walked away. The nurse stayed with me for a few minutes asking if I needed anything or if I wanted her to wait with me. I declined her offer, grabbed my purse and left.
My mom had riden with me to my appointment and while I had thought about not telling her what he said because I didn't want to hear "See! You need to quit smoking now!". A lecture was the last thing I needed to hear. However, as soon as I saw her, I knew I couldn't NOT tell her. What if something happened? What if I had a heart attack tomorrow and I didn't tell her and it was information the EMTs needed to know? I told her as we stood face to face in the lobby. She hugged me and was quiet. But only for a few minutes lol.
"You know... you really should stop smoking..." (you know mom's can NOT stop to lecture sometimes lol)
Before she even finished her sentence, I glared at her and not so nicely told her a lecture on smokinng was the last thing I needed at the moment. She nodded in agreement and hugged me again..
On the way to the car, she asked me the same questions I had asked the Dr. I tried to answer her questions as best as I could.
"J, you'll get through this. We'll ALL get you through this. Trust me, I know, it's scary and you have so many questions. We're here for you for anything."
Her words made me tear up. It made me think back to a few years ago. It was her going through this. Though, instead of a Mitral Valve Prolapse, she had a full on heart attack with no warning. Her blood pressure was fine, she had no plaque build up, there were none of the traditional signs. However, she's a diabetic and her glucose levels were high and it made her artery completely collapse without warning stopping all blood flow to the bottom of her heart.
I knew then, if my mom can beat a heart attack, I can beat this too.
When I told the nurse that even though I have been off the latest antibiotics for 3 days now, I'm still not feeling better which is surprising because normally within a few days of taking antibiotics I'm usually back to my old self and don't really need the remainder. She put me on hold while she spoke to the Dr. and came back to say he wanted to see me in an hour to 'rule out anything else'.
I changed out of my warm PJ's and headed over. Even though she told me that they were going to fit me in, in between his other appointments, I had hoped I wouldn't have to wait very long. I sat in the waiting room for another hour, as there were 4 other people ahead of me that actually HAD appointments.
I was finally called back and the nurse did the normal stuff. Blood pressure (was good), weight (lost 4 lbs in 10 days.. idk if that's good or not lol) and temp (had a low grade fever. My normal body temp is lower than average.. it's usually 97.6, temp today was 99.8. So for a regular person, that would be 100.8 so it wasn't real bad compared to 10 days ago). Anyhow!
Finally got back into the room, Doc came in, asked if I was pregnant, I answered with "OMG! I hope to God not!!" he laughed.. but asked again. I said no (and crossed my fingers that that was true) and he sent me for a few lung xrays. 3 xrays later I was back in the room waiting for him.
He came in shortly after to tell me that my lungs look excellent. I inquired if there were ANY dark spots on my lungs, he said no and asked why. I told him I was a smoker (still) and he looked shocked. Said he couldn't tell by my xrays, said he even compared them to the xrays from 2004 and 2001 and that there's no signs of 'smokers lungs'. I was elated from that news. However, my excitement didn't last long.
He wanted to listen to my lungs again just to make sure they sounded O.K. and in the process, listen to my heart as well. Lungs sounded good, so my Bronchitis is pretty much gone, with just a little still lingering.
However, in the mists of listening to my heart, he got all excited.
Dr: "Wow! This is incredible! Mary (the nurse) you want to hear this?"
Mary: "Sure?! What am I supposed to be listening to?"
Dr: (to Mary) She has a Mitral Valve Prolapse.
Dr: (to me) In all the years I've been practicing medicine, I've never heard it so loud and clear before!
I just sat still in a daze while the nurse took her turn listening to my heart.
Mary: (to Dr) Wow! You really can hear it! Thump, thump, click.. thump, thump, click.
Dr: (to me) I've never heard this before today. You've never had heart problems, have you? Mary, check her chart.
She handed the stethascope back to the Dr. and he took a seat, rolling up close to me while she thumbed through the pages of my medical history.
Mary: (to Dr) No. There's no record of it in here.
Dr: I didn't think so.. I would have remembered this. (to me) You've been coming to me since you were what.. 7? And you've never had any heart issues?
Me: Yea, I was 7 and no, I never have.
I just sat there and stared at him.
Me: So.. um... what does this mean?
Dr: Well, it means that your left valve is not closing properly when releasing the blood out of your heart and blood is being pooled back in.
I just sat there and stared at him some more. I didn't know what to say or what to ask, there were so many things bouncing around in my head.
Me: Umm.. O.K. So.. now what?
Dr: Well, I want to keep an eye on this. There's really no course of treatment pill wise and until it progresses to a dangerous level, there's nothing to do. Once it does progress, you'll have to have surgery and either have the valve completely replaced or a shunt-type device will be inserted. I want to see you back in 6 wks for a recheck.
Me: What caused this? Can you tell?
Dr: At this time, I can't be sure. It could be the med's you're on for your Thyroid as a side effect. It could be the med's you were on for this cold that weakened the valve, it could be because heart problems run in your family. There's a lot of factors.
Me: Can it be reversed? I mean, if I went off my Thyroid meds, would it reverese this problem? If I started back working out, would that help? Is there anything I can do to fix this without surgery?
Dr: The damamge is done, from what, I cannot say. Yes, working out will strengthen your heart, however, over excerising can also damage it more. Take it easy for now. If you really want to excerise, I suggest something easy like walking. Don't go getting a gym membership and running on tread mills right now.
I couldn't think of anything else to ask at the moment and he sat there waiting patiently. When I looked up at him, I just shrugged as if to say; "well.. that's it then".
He gave me a hug, told me to get my script filled for some steriods and if I had any other questions, call or come in and if these steroids don't help my cold any, to come back in 10 days.
He walked to the door, opened it, looked back at me with a sympathetic smile and walked away. The nurse stayed with me for a few minutes asking if I needed anything or if I wanted her to wait with me. I declined her offer, grabbed my purse and left.
My mom had riden with me to my appointment and while I had thought about not telling her what he said because I didn't want to hear "See! You need to quit smoking now!". A lecture was the last thing I needed to hear. However, as soon as I saw her, I knew I couldn't NOT tell her. What if something happened? What if I had a heart attack tomorrow and I didn't tell her and it was information the EMTs needed to know? I told her as we stood face to face in the lobby. She hugged me and was quiet. But only for a few minutes lol.
"You know... you really should stop smoking..." (you know mom's can NOT stop to lecture sometimes lol)
Before she even finished her sentence, I glared at her and not so nicely told her a lecture on smokinng was the last thing I needed at the moment. She nodded in agreement and hugged me again..
On the way to the car, she asked me the same questions I had asked the Dr. I tried to answer her questions as best as I could.
"J, you'll get through this. We'll ALL get you through this. Trust me, I know, it's scary and you have so many questions. We're here for you for anything."
Her words made me tear up. It made me think back to a few years ago. It was her going through this. Though, instead of a Mitral Valve Prolapse, she had a full on heart attack with no warning. Her blood pressure was fine, she had no plaque build up, there were none of the traditional signs. However, she's a diabetic and her glucose levels were high and it made her artery completely collapse without warning stopping all blood flow to the bottom of her heart.
I knew then, if my mom can beat a heart attack, I can beat this too.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
So Sorry!
Hello everyone! I hope your Holiday was great and had a safe New Years.
I want to apologize for my lack of posts for pretty much the month of December. We had a death in the family and blogging took a backseat to everything else. I also spent most of Dec. in Alabama (unexpectedly) and as you know from previous posts, I have no internet there unless I find a hot spot somewhere, which is easier said than done.
Within 24 hours of coming home I got a bad headcold that eventually turned into Bronchitis, a double ear infection, sinusitis and tonsilitis with a temp running about 102 degrees. (I pretty much got every 'itis' there is!!) Many Dr's visits and many different kinds of antibiotics later, I'm still not well. I ended up having to go get a few breathing treatments a couple of times... you never know how very important breathing is until you can't do it! LOL So, now I've got my inhaler, some new meds and some hope that I'll be over this very soon!
I promise I'll get back to posting when I am feeling better. I hope you all forgive me for such a long break without any forewarning.
Happy New Year!! :)
I want to apologize for my lack of posts for pretty much the month of December. We had a death in the family and blogging took a backseat to everything else. I also spent most of Dec. in Alabama (unexpectedly) and as you know from previous posts, I have no internet there unless I find a hot spot somewhere, which is easier said than done.
Within 24 hours of coming home I got a bad headcold that eventually turned into Bronchitis, a double ear infection, sinusitis and tonsilitis with a temp running about 102 degrees. (I pretty much got every 'itis' there is!!) Many Dr's visits and many different kinds of antibiotics later, I'm still not well. I ended up having to go get a few breathing treatments a couple of times... you never know how very important breathing is until you can't do it! LOL So, now I've got my inhaler, some new meds and some hope that I'll be over this very soon!
I promise I'll get back to posting when I am feeling better. I hope you all forgive me for such a long break without any forewarning.
Happy New Year!! :)
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