My father parked in the garage and my brother and I followed him into the house. He excused himself to change and I was thankful, that gave my brother and I some time to talk privately.
"What are we going to tell him" I whispered
"I don't know. We can't tell them the truth though. You know they will freak."
"I don't know. Maybe not. I mean, yea.. it got all crazy, but it wasn't actually our fault we got shot at. WE didn't have a gun"
Before my brother could answer, my dad came out of his bedroom and asked me to join him at the dinning room table to talk. I gave my brother one last glance and reluctantly followed, sitting across the table from my dad.
"So, tell me what's going on" he asked
"Umm.. well.. there's this kid on the bus.. umm.. his name is O'Neil and umm.. he started out being just mean to me. But, um.. then after a while.."
My dad interrupted me, "How long has been a while? When did it start?"
"The beginning of 6th grade. That's when it 1st started"
"It's been going on all this time and you never said anything? Why?"
I continued to tell my father everything that had happened since the beginning. He was appalled, disgusted but mostly, he was angry. VERY angry. Not just with O'Neil but with the bus driver as well as the VP. I don't think I've ever seen my dad THAT angry before. He rose from his seat and began to pace. Muttering only to himself. I wish I knew what was going through his mind, but maybe I didn't want to know.
At one point, I heard something along the lines of him wanting to kick O'Neil's ass but that he couldn't because O'Neil was still considered a child and I kind of chuckled.
"What's so funny?" He turned to me
"Oh.. umm.. nothing"
"Spill it, J. What? What's so damn funny? You think it's funny that I want to find this kid and beat him until he takes his last breath? Is it funny that I want to do the same thing to the driver and the VP? Do you think it's funny that I am fighting the urge to hunt them all down like a madman and kill every last 1 of them? DO YOU?" His voice began to rise and his hands were in fists at his side.
"N.. N.. no..." I stumbled out looking down. "No, that isn't funny, dad. But what I was laughing at is.. well.. Joe showed up at my bus stop today with some friends.. and umm.. I guess he was thinking the same you were cus.." I trailed off. I didn't know if I should finish even though I badly wanted to tell my dad everything that happened that day.
"WHAT?! What did he do?" My father was yelling again, which made me really nervous. I could probably count on one hand that amount of times I ever heard my dad yell. Without waiting for my responce, he called my brother into the dinning room as well.
As my brother entered, he shot me a look that said "Thanks a lot big mouth!" and again I just lowered my head.
"What happened today? And I want the WHOLE STORY! From the time you heard about what was going on with J til I pulled up. Now.. start talking"
My brother relayed our afternoon activities with as much aprehension as I did when telling my dad about what was going on with me. When they were through talking, my dad asked my brother to show him the damage to his car. The two of them started for the door and I was right behind them, "No, J. Stay here" my father ordered and I listened. I didn't want to anger him any more.
Watching from the window I saw my brother walk my dad around his car showing him the bullet holes. I half expected my dad to go into a rage, both from what my brother did and the fact that his car was shot twice. However, to my surprise, I saw my dad put one hand on my brother's shoulder calmly. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I could tell by their body language my dad wasn't mad. What surprised me even more was seeing my dad lean in and hug my brother, pat him on the back once more and they started walking back towards the house. By the time they reached the front door, I had moved away from the window and was sitting quietly on the couch.
"I'm just glad no one was hurt. I know what happened probably scared the shit out of all of you and I hope you learned your lesson, but I'm not going to lecture you. You know I would have done worse if I could have so I'm not going to punish either of you for what happened today." He told both of us
"What about Mom? She's going to freak out when she sees it" I interjected
"Don't worry about your mom, I'll talk to her. Just don't say anything to her until I get a chance to talk to her. Now J, we still need to talk so let's go back into the dinning room"
I nodded and followed my dad again, glancing at my brother with a half smile. He looked relieved that the truth had been told and excused himself to his room.
My dad and I talked some more about the unfortunate events in my life for the past year and a half, talked about how I felt about everything and I just wasn't comfortable getting that detailed with him. He suggested setting me up with a therapist to talk things out and to try to make sure I wouldn't have any long term affects from it all. I agreed that might be a good idea and he said he'd call tomorrow to find one. As our conversation came to a close the phone rang. It was my mom saying she was on her way home.
The whole house took a collective sigh, now we had to tell mom. Out of my two parents, she is sometimes the hardest to tell things to. She has the typical Italian tempter and unlike my father, she raises her voice quick. I knew there was going to be some yelling in my house again and it was going to be a looooonngg night tonight. My only thought was...
Are we ordering pizza?
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Mario Andretti would be proud
I closed my eyes even tighter as I heard the screeching of the other car's tires approaching. I was just waiting for the bone breaking noise cars make when they collide. But it never came. The screeching stopped and horns were honking so I opened my eyes. Though I was afraid of what I might see still coming towards me, I wanted to know why it was taking so long to come.
To my surprise, the vehicle that I thought would make us all into roadkill stopped directly beside our car. The driver was obviously shaken and quiet mad.
"What the fuck is your problem! Why they hell did you come flying out of that street!??" the pissed of driver yelled at us.
Before any of us answered, my brother hit the gas again and we speed away. Hoping and praying the other driver didn't get our license plate number. To say I was scared is an understatement, but I was also filled with adrenaline. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would fly out of my chest. My hands were shaking, my palms were sweaty and I thought I was going to throw up. My brother kept a pace that would make Mario Andretti impressed as we speed all the way home, constantly checking his rear view mirror.
No one spoke until we arrived at our house and were exiting the car, then every one of my brother's friends spoke in rapid succession.
"Jesus man.. that shit was crazy!"
"No shit! I really thought someone was gonna get shot!"
"Who knew that shit was gonna happen?"
"What did you think was gonna happen you dumbass! You started screaming about niggers in an all nigger town!!"
"Hey man... how's your car?"
"I'm kind of afraid to look actually" my brother said, as he lit a cigarette.
They all started circling his car checking for damage, I however sat on the front lawn still in shock. To every one's surprise, there was no visible body damage from the impact with the ditch, however there were 2 bullet holes. One was in the trunk just to the right of the lock and the other bullet hole was on the passenger side just above the rear wheel. I said a silent prayer of thanks that his gas tank wasn't on that side, otherwise we all would have been on fire.
"Who was that guy shooting at us anyway?" Someone asked
"J, do you know who that was? Was that that nigger's dad?" another asked
"I don't think so. I don't think his Father's still in the picture but everyone in that town is related somehow so it could have been an uncle or something, I don't know" I answered
"Well, I don't think he'll be messing with you anymore, if he knows what's good for him anyway" my brother said, trying to act like he wasn't shaken by what transpired. However, I could see that his own hands were just as shaky as mine still were.
"Umm.. can I have a cigarette?" I asked my brother without looking up to meet his eyes.
"WHAT?"
"I asked if I could have a cigarette, too"
"J, you're not old enough. Plus, they're bad for you"
"Yea.. says the guy who's been smoking long before you were the age I am now. Please?"
"Fine, but don't tell mom or dad I gave you one. They'll freak for sure!"
I had never had a cigarette before and wasn't even quiet sure how to smoke it right. I didn't want to look like a fool in front of my brother's friends who just almost gave their life for me. My brother handed me an unlit cigarette from his pack with words of advice, "Don't inhale real deep, you'll cough and probably throw up. Here, I'll light it for you"
I was really surprised he was being so nice about it. I figured he'd give me more of a fight, but he handed me the lit cigarette and I slowly took a drag. The thing tasted horrible and I wanted to puke, but to save face in front of everyone, I swallowed the bile rising in my throat.
"Yea.. well.. who's gonna tell them about the bullet holes?" I asked, attempting to take another drag.
"Shit! I don't know. They're gonna flip the fuck out when they see them, though"
We all tried brainstorming to figure out a good lie. Obviously there weren't ANY lies that would cover up that story convincingly. Just as my brother's friends were piling in their cars to leave, leaving my brother and I alone to figure out the mess, my father pulls up and parks directly beside my brother's car.
"Hey" my dad addressed us as he gathered his briefcase and coffee cup from the car.
"Uh.. hey. What are you doing home so early?" I cautiously asked, thankful I had already put out my cigarette before he arrived.
"Well, your mom called me at work and said there was a situation going on with you and some boy on the bus. I wanted to come home and talk about it and see what we were going to do to handle the situation"
My brother and I looked at eachother nervously. Little did my dad know.. we had already attempted 'handling' the situation. I was starting to wonder if cops were going to show up at the house any minute, if anyone from the bus or that town had gotten his license plate number OR the guy that almost hit us. Worry about that alone made me want to throw up again.
To my surprise, the vehicle that I thought would make us all into roadkill stopped directly beside our car. The driver was obviously shaken and quiet mad.
"What the fuck is your problem! Why they hell did you come flying out of that street!??" the pissed of driver yelled at us.
Before any of us answered, my brother hit the gas again and we speed away. Hoping and praying the other driver didn't get our license plate number. To say I was scared is an understatement, but I was also filled with adrenaline. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would fly out of my chest. My hands were shaking, my palms were sweaty and I thought I was going to throw up. My brother kept a pace that would make Mario Andretti impressed as we speed all the way home, constantly checking his rear view mirror.
No one spoke until we arrived at our house and were exiting the car, then every one of my brother's friends spoke in rapid succession.
"Jesus man.. that shit was crazy!"
"No shit! I really thought someone was gonna get shot!"
"Who knew that shit was gonna happen?"
"What did you think was gonna happen you dumbass! You started screaming about niggers in an all nigger town!!"
"Hey man... how's your car?"
"I'm kind of afraid to look actually" my brother said, as he lit a cigarette.
They all started circling his car checking for damage, I however sat on the front lawn still in shock. To every one's surprise, there was no visible body damage from the impact with the ditch, however there were 2 bullet holes. One was in the trunk just to the right of the lock and the other bullet hole was on the passenger side just above the rear wheel. I said a silent prayer of thanks that his gas tank wasn't on that side, otherwise we all would have been on fire.
"Who was that guy shooting at us anyway?" Someone asked
"J, do you know who that was? Was that that nigger's dad?" another asked
"I don't think so. I don't think his Father's still in the picture but everyone in that town is related somehow so it could have been an uncle or something, I don't know" I answered
"Well, I don't think he'll be messing with you anymore, if he knows what's good for him anyway" my brother said, trying to act like he wasn't shaken by what transpired. However, I could see that his own hands were just as shaky as mine still were.
"Umm.. can I have a cigarette?" I asked my brother without looking up to meet his eyes.
"WHAT?"
"I asked if I could have a cigarette, too"
"J, you're not old enough. Plus, they're bad for you"
"Yea.. says the guy who's been smoking long before you were the age I am now. Please?"
"Fine, but don't tell mom or dad I gave you one. They'll freak for sure!"
I had never had a cigarette before and wasn't even quiet sure how to smoke it right. I didn't want to look like a fool in front of my brother's friends who just almost gave their life for me. My brother handed me an unlit cigarette from his pack with words of advice, "Don't inhale real deep, you'll cough and probably throw up. Here, I'll light it for you"
I was really surprised he was being so nice about it. I figured he'd give me more of a fight, but he handed me the lit cigarette and I slowly took a drag. The thing tasted horrible and I wanted to puke, but to save face in front of everyone, I swallowed the bile rising in my throat.
"Yea.. well.. who's gonna tell them about the bullet holes?" I asked, attempting to take another drag.
"Shit! I don't know. They're gonna flip the fuck out when they see them, though"
We all tried brainstorming to figure out a good lie. Obviously there weren't ANY lies that would cover up that story convincingly. Just as my brother's friends were piling in their cars to leave, leaving my brother and I alone to figure out the mess, my father pulls up and parks directly beside my brother's car.
"Hey" my dad addressed us as he gathered his briefcase and coffee cup from the car.
"Uh.. hey. What are you doing home so early?" I cautiously asked, thankful I had already put out my cigarette before he arrived.
"Well, your mom called me at work and said there was a situation going on with you and some boy on the bus. I wanted to come home and talk about it and see what we were going to do to handle the situation"
My brother and I looked at eachother nervously. Little did my dad know.. we had already attempted 'handling' the situation. I was starting to wonder if cops were going to show up at the house any minute, if anyone from the bus or that town had gotten his license plate number OR the guy that almost hit us. Worry about that alone made me want to throw up again.
Monday, August 16, 2010
**Sorry this is late and shorter than my other posts usually are. I got home early this morning and was too tired to write it then. Hope you enjoy it anyway. Happy Monday all!**
Two shots rang out and the yelling stopped. Everyone looked around to see where the shots were coming from and saw an older black man walking from his front porch with a pistol in his hand aimed right at us. The screaming picked back up, but this time it wasn't racial slurs or threatening words, it was panic. Everyone was scrambling to hide. Car doors flew open, kids rolled over hoods and some dove under the bus. I didn't know what to do or what to say, I was in complete shock. This had gone too far!
My brother shoved his door open and began to climb out but I grabbed him by his sleeve and tried to pull him back in.
"Don't go! You'll get shot!" I pleaded
"J, I can't just leave my friends out there!!" he yelled back
"Drive over to them and try to get them! But don't get out of the car! PLEASE!!"
"What if they're hurt!? What if they're shot!!!!!" I could hear the panic in his voice and it was making me even more afraid
"PLEASE!! JUST DON'T GET OUT!! You won't be any good if you get shot too!!"
He paused briefly, apparently trying to decide if he should chance it, make a run for his friends or take my advice. I was relieved when he slid back into the driver seat and put it into gear. I looked to my right and the black man was approaching fast.
"GO! GO! GO!" I yelled, willing his little 4 cylinder car like it was a race car
He punched the gas and we took off, swerving around the bus missing it within inches. He stopped just on the other side of the bus and his friends scrambled to get inside. I don't know how we did it, but we had 8 people inside the car, everyone checking for bullet wounds. The other car that belonged to his friend pulled up beside us, honked and speed away. My brother hit the accelerator once more and we began to speed around the front of the bus. Just as we rounded the corner another shot rang out, hitting the trunk with a loud bang. Everyone screamed and my brother lost control of the car.
His right tire slammed into the curb and he over corrected, sending us into the other side of the road. When we hit the curb on that side, we were going too fast and instead of bouncing off the curb we went flying into a small ditch. He apparently never took his foot off the gas because the impact of the curb OR the ditch didn't slow us down.
None of us had our seat belts on so bodies were flying all over the car as we did a 360, bouncing off each side of the embankment. Our car took flight and we landed in the middle of an intersection, everyone yelling and screaming. I looked out the window to see a car headed straight for us. The driver side of the car. The side I was on AND my brother. I closed my eyes and braced for the impact.
Two shots rang out and the yelling stopped. Everyone looked around to see where the shots were coming from and saw an older black man walking from his front porch with a pistol in his hand aimed right at us. The screaming picked back up, but this time it wasn't racial slurs or threatening words, it was panic. Everyone was scrambling to hide. Car doors flew open, kids rolled over hoods and some dove under the bus. I didn't know what to do or what to say, I was in complete shock. This had gone too far!
My brother shoved his door open and began to climb out but I grabbed him by his sleeve and tried to pull him back in.
"Don't go! You'll get shot!" I pleaded
"J, I can't just leave my friends out there!!" he yelled back
"Drive over to them and try to get them! But don't get out of the car! PLEASE!!"
"What if they're hurt!? What if they're shot!!!!!" I could hear the panic in his voice and it was making me even more afraid
"PLEASE!! JUST DON'T GET OUT!! You won't be any good if you get shot too!!"
He paused briefly, apparently trying to decide if he should chance it, make a run for his friends or take my advice. I was relieved when he slid back into the driver seat and put it into gear. I looked to my right and the black man was approaching fast.
"GO! GO! GO!" I yelled, willing his little 4 cylinder car like it was a race car
He punched the gas and we took off, swerving around the bus missing it within inches. He stopped just on the other side of the bus and his friends scrambled to get inside. I don't know how we did it, but we had 8 people inside the car, everyone checking for bullet wounds. The other car that belonged to his friend pulled up beside us, honked and speed away. My brother hit the accelerator once more and we began to speed around the front of the bus. Just as we rounded the corner another shot rang out, hitting the trunk with a loud bang. Everyone screamed and my brother lost control of the car.
His right tire slammed into the curb and he over corrected, sending us into the other side of the road. When we hit the curb on that side, we were going too fast and instead of bouncing off the curb we went flying into a small ditch. He apparently never took his foot off the gas because the impact of the curb OR the ditch didn't slow us down.
None of us had our seat belts on so bodies were flying all over the car as we did a 360, bouncing off each side of the embankment. Our car took flight and we landed in the middle of an intersection, everyone yelling and screaming. I looked out the window to see a car headed straight for us. The driver side of the car. The side I was on AND my brother. I closed my eyes and braced for the impact.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Out of town
Hello ladies! I had to make an unexpected trip to Alabama this week. The only internet I have is thru my phone. I am hoping to be back home by Sunday to get a post up on Monday but incase I don't I just wanted to give ya'll a heads up.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Hope everyone has a great week!
Monday, August 9, 2010
You're nothing but trouble
*** WARNING! There is racial slang used in this post. It is not to offend anyone, I am just quoting what was said.***
I tried to look away, thinking if I ignored them, they would walk right past me. But I knew better. I was the only one on the bus that was having issues with the two people walking towards me. I glanced at Vanessa and she looked as puzzled as I felt scared. The VP and bus driver stopped directly infront of the seat I was sharing with Vanessa and I was glad I was closer to the window than the walk way.
Neither of them said anything for a long minute and I finally glanced up to meet them in the eye.
"You are nothing but trouble!" The VP yelled, then the driver interupted; "This is all your fault! I shouldn't even let you back on MY bus today! But let me tell you something LITTLE GIRL, if I so much as hear a peep out of you, you're off my bus for good! I don't care WHERE we are! Do you understand me!!?"
The entire bus fell quiet and everyone was staring at the 3 of us. I didn't know what to do, but I knew what I WANTED to do. I wanted to stand up and go off on the both of them, but knowing I would then not have ANY way home, I silently shook my head yes and they turned and walked back outside. The 2 of them chatted a little longer then the driver got back on the bus and we left.
"What was that about?" Vanessa whispered to me
"I'll tell you later" I whispered back
The other students were all buzzing with gossip while we rode home. I kept quiet for the remainder of the ride, I didn't want to call the driver's bluff about leaving me somewhere again. As we turned the last corner before our stop, I saw 2 cars parked at the bus stop. 1 car was my brother's but I didn't recognize the 2nd vehicle. Quickly but quietly I gathered my belongings and headed for the exit. Just as I left the last step I heard my brother call me over. I wondered what he was doing there, he NEVER picked me up from the bus stop. Before I reached his car 6 people piled out of it, including 5 more from the other car that was parked there.
"J, which one is he?" my brother yelled
"What?"
"You know what I'm talking about! Which one IS HE!"
"Oh.. umm.. he's sitting 3 seats down from the door.... why? What are you going to do?"
No sooner had I asked the question, 11 of his friends rushed the bus and began pounding on it and rocking it back and forth. 1 of his friends, a blonde kid I had never met before attempted to break the glass window where O'Neil sat with a wooden baseball bat.
"Come out here you fucking nigger! You want slap someone around!? Slap ME around!" the blonde kid screamed
"Yea! Come on out nigger! We're gonna beat you like the fucking slave you should be!" another one of my brother's friends yelled, trying to reach into the window to grab onto O'Neil.
"You worthless piece of burnt dog shit! We're gonna beat the shit out of you for touching her!" A tall dark-haired boy said
"Hey! Get the driver too! He let it happen!" Another boy yelled as he tried to pry open the bus doors.
I just stood there in complete shock. It was all happening so fast. So many of my brother's friends were trying their hardest to get in that bus, or get the driver and O'Neil out.
"J! J! J! What the hell is going on!" Vanessa kept asking me, pulling me by the sleeve to get out of the way
"Uhh... I guess my mom told my brother?" Was all I could think of to say.
"When did you tell your mom?"
I didn't answer, I didn't have time. The bus was begining to move, the driver obviously not caring if he ran over anyone.
"J! GET IN THE CAR NOW!" My brother hollered as all his friends were rushing back into the cars.
I didn't want to go. I wanted to go home, I didn't want to be apart of this.
"GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!!" my brother said once again, as he pushed me in the back seat.
Vanessa was left standing there bewildered; "I'll call you later!" I said as we peeled out. I looked behind us and the other car was following close behind, poor Vanessa was still standing there looking confused.
A few streets over the bus slowed for another bus stop, but since we were still behind them, he wouldn't open the doors. A kid from the car behind us got out and ran up to the bus again, "We don't want anyone else but that fucking nigger and you!" He yelled to the driver. The driver just sat there, doors still not opening.
Finally, we passed the bus and waited around the corner out of sight. The driver finally opened the doors and let the passengers out and turned the corner a few minutes later. We let him pass and got behind him once more. At the next traffic light, the driver opened the doors and walked towards us. I was afraid that either my brother or the car behind us was going to try to run him over, luckily there was too much traffic and we were blocked in.
"I don't know what your problem is man, but you need to leave my riders alone" The driver yelled from a few feet away and ran back to the bus. The light turned green and we continued to follow the bus to the next stop. Finally, 3 stops later we were at O'Neil's stop. The area O'Neil lived in was a very black neighborhood. Actually, it was an ALL black neighborhood. The neighborhood itself was fairly small, and almost everyone was related one way or another.
The bus pulled up to the stop but wouldn't open the doors. Just then, my blonde boy sitting next to me reached behind the seat (into the hatchback area) and grabbed another baseball bat. The boy to on the other side of me grabbed metal nunchucks.
OH sweet Jesus! What's gonna happen??
The other car pulled in behind us and all of the passengers started running for the bus again. I made my brother promise me he wouldn't get out, mame him promise he'd stay inside with me.
It seemed like an eternity of screams and yells coming from my brother's friends.
"Get out here nigger! You're gonna see what a beating really feels like!"
"If you're lucky, we'll leave you for dead instead of killing you right now you dirty nigger!"
Two shots rang out and the yelling stopped.
I tried to look away, thinking if I ignored them, they would walk right past me. But I knew better. I was the only one on the bus that was having issues with the two people walking towards me. I glanced at Vanessa and she looked as puzzled as I felt scared. The VP and bus driver stopped directly infront of the seat I was sharing with Vanessa and I was glad I was closer to the window than the walk way.
Neither of them said anything for a long minute and I finally glanced up to meet them in the eye.
"You are nothing but trouble!" The VP yelled, then the driver interupted; "This is all your fault! I shouldn't even let you back on MY bus today! But let me tell you something LITTLE GIRL, if I so much as hear a peep out of you, you're off my bus for good! I don't care WHERE we are! Do you understand me!!?"
The entire bus fell quiet and everyone was staring at the 3 of us. I didn't know what to do, but I knew what I WANTED to do. I wanted to stand up and go off on the both of them, but knowing I would then not have ANY way home, I silently shook my head yes and they turned and walked back outside. The 2 of them chatted a little longer then the driver got back on the bus and we left.
"What was that about?" Vanessa whispered to me
"I'll tell you later" I whispered back
The other students were all buzzing with gossip while we rode home. I kept quiet for the remainder of the ride, I didn't want to call the driver's bluff about leaving me somewhere again. As we turned the last corner before our stop, I saw 2 cars parked at the bus stop. 1 car was my brother's but I didn't recognize the 2nd vehicle. Quickly but quietly I gathered my belongings and headed for the exit. Just as I left the last step I heard my brother call me over. I wondered what he was doing there, he NEVER picked me up from the bus stop. Before I reached his car 6 people piled out of it, including 5 more from the other car that was parked there.
"J, which one is he?" my brother yelled
"What?"
"You know what I'm talking about! Which one IS HE!"
"Oh.. umm.. he's sitting 3 seats down from the door.... why? What are you going to do?"
No sooner had I asked the question, 11 of his friends rushed the bus and began pounding on it and rocking it back and forth. 1 of his friends, a blonde kid I had never met before attempted to break the glass window where O'Neil sat with a wooden baseball bat.
"Come out here you fucking nigger! You want slap someone around!? Slap ME around!" the blonde kid screamed
"Yea! Come on out nigger! We're gonna beat you like the fucking slave you should be!" another one of my brother's friends yelled, trying to reach into the window to grab onto O'Neil.
"You worthless piece of burnt dog shit! We're gonna beat the shit out of you for touching her!" A tall dark-haired boy said
"Hey! Get the driver too! He let it happen!" Another boy yelled as he tried to pry open the bus doors.
I just stood there in complete shock. It was all happening so fast. So many of my brother's friends were trying their hardest to get in that bus, or get the driver and O'Neil out.
"J! J! J! What the hell is going on!" Vanessa kept asking me, pulling me by the sleeve to get out of the way
"Uhh... I guess my mom told my brother?" Was all I could think of to say.
"When did you tell your mom?"
I didn't answer, I didn't have time. The bus was begining to move, the driver obviously not caring if he ran over anyone.
"J! GET IN THE CAR NOW!" My brother hollered as all his friends were rushing back into the cars.
I didn't want to go. I wanted to go home, I didn't want to be apart of this.
"GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!!" my brother said once again, as he pushed me in the back seat.
Vanessa was left standing there bewildered; "I'll call you later!" I said as we peeled out. I looked behind us and the other car was following close behind, poor Vanessa was still standing there looking confused.
A few streets over the bus slowed for another bus stop, but since we were still behind them, he wouldn't open the doors. A kid from the car behind us got out and ran up to the bus again, "We don't want anyone else but that fucking nigger and you!" He yelled to the driver. The driver just sat there, doors still not opening.
Finally, we passed the bus and waited around the corner out of sight. The driver finally opened the doors and let the passengers out and turned the corner a few minutes later. We let him pass and got behind him once more. At the next traffic light, the driver opened the doors and walked towards us. I was afraid that either my brother or the car behind us was going to try to run him over, luckily there was too much traffic and we were blocked in.
"I don't know what your problem is man, but you need to leave my riders alone" The driver yelled from a few feet away and ran back to the bus. The light turned green and we continued to follow the bus to the next stop. Finally, 3 stops later we were at O'Neil's stop. The area O'Neil lived in was a very black neighborhood. Actually, it was an ALL black neighborhood. The neighborhood itself was fairly small, and almost everyone was related one way or another.
The bus pulled up to the stop but wouldn't open the doors. Just then, my blonde boy sitting next to me reached behind the seat (into the hatchback area) and grabbed another baseball bat. The boy to on the other side of me grabbed metal nunchucks.
OH sweet Jesus! What's gonna happen??
The other car pulled in behind us and all of the passengers started running for the bus again. I made my brother promise me he wouldn't get out, mame him promise he'd stay inside with me.
It seemed like an eternity of screams and yells coming from my brother's friends.
"Get out here nigger! You're gonna see what a beating really feels like!"
"If you're lucky, we'll leave you for dead instead of killing you right now you dirty nigger!"
Two shots rang out and the yelling stopped.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
"I am THIS close to calling the authorities on you, not just the school, but YOU!! My child came to you about a problem and what did you do? You made her feel like is was her fault! Basically saying she asked for it, then making the situation WORSE!! What kind of VP ARE YOU? What kind of PERSON are you to do that to a CHILD! After she brought it to your attention and your lack of concern or WHATEVER, the way I view it.. anything that happened to her AFTER that is YOUR FAULT! YOU put my child in danger! You contributed to harming a child!!" My mom's voice was getting louder and louder as her face turned an unfamiliar red. She was begining to shake in her chair out of anger, and I began shaking out of fear. I seriously thought my mom was going to come over the desk and choke the woman.
"She told me she never actually said no.." The VP started
"WHAT?! Are you seriously going to try to justify your actions with that statement?? Are you honestly going to say that because she didn't say the exact word.. she didn't say 'NO' to him, that it's her fault? She came to YOU to make it stop and what did you do?? Not a Goddamn thing! You made the situation worse! Do you know what he did to her after you talked to him? He HIT HER!"
"Well, she never came back so I thought.."
"EXCUSE ME?? She never came back??? Why the hell would she?!? She came to you 1st, she saw what happened when she did come to you.. why didn't YOU follow up? YOU ARE THE ADULT! YOU ARE THE VP! IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!"
"Ma'am, if you would just calm d.."
"Don't you DARE tell me to calm down! This is my DAUGHTER! You want to know what ELSE he's done to her?"
Before the VP was able to respond, my Mother went into detail of the things I told her that morning. Before she was finished, the VP interupted her..
"Well, did your DAUGHTER also tell you she was kicked off the bus yesterday for assulting a student?" The VP asked with her arrogance coming back to her.
"OH! Thank you for bringing that up! Yes, as a matter of fact she DID tell me! And do you know WHY she 'assulted' him, as you so want to put it. She was defending herself! HE was ASSULTING HER! So, again! This school has failed my child and her safety! Not only have you not stopped the abuse she was receiving from another student, who I might add is WAY too old to be in her own grade, but then the bus driver KICKS HER OFF THE BUS MIDRIDE?? Where in your policy does it state that THAT is acceptable? Because of the business I am in, I know for a FACT you are NOT allowed to KICK a child off the bus once it leaves the school. If there is a problem with a child, the parents are called and the child has to wait at the school for a ride. You better hope to GOD you don't lose your job, the bus driver doesn't lose his, and you don't have criminal charges brought against BOTH of you for this! If I do proceed with charges, you BOTH can kiss your careers goodbye!"
"Ma'am, if you would just.."
By now my mother was standing up again, leaning over the desk about 3 inches from the VP's face, "Just shut up! It's obvious you are a complete idiot and don't know how to do your job right! I'm done speaking with you! I just wanted to come in here to let you know you pissed off the wrong parent! If my child comes home with so much as a red mark on her body from that boy, there WILL be hell to pay and you might as well pack up your things and leave town because I'm coming back FOR YOU! I expect that from now on, it will be made sure that this boy does not come in contact with her at all. He better not even sit on the same side of the bus with her. J, grab your things, we're leaving."
With that, I picked up my bag and followed my mom out of the office into the hallway.
"J, I'm really sorry, but you're going to have to ride the bus home today after school, we'll figure something out for the rest of the time. But I just can't come back and pick you up and your dad's in meetings all day. He doesn't even know what's going on, I couldn't reach him, otherwise he'd be in here too. But call me as soon as you get home and let me know how it goes."
She gave me a long hug and a kiss and walked out. School had already started so I ran back into the office to get a pass for being late. The secretary, who obviously heard most of the conversation, didn't argue with me and slid the pass across the counter without making eye contact.
As I walked to class, I said a silent prayer, wishing Vanessa was there, even if it was only for moral support. The rest of the day went by in a fog and I was nervous about the ride home. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that this was going to be the last day I had to ride the bus. I went to my locker to grab the rest of my things and started towards the bus when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and was shocked to see Vanessa running after me, "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming in today?"
"Well, my last appointment got canceled so my dad brought me in so I could at least go to my last 2 classes. Stupid if you ask me, but you know my dad. Did I miss anything today?"
I wanted to fill her in on what happened in the office that morning, but we were already at the bus, waiting our turn to get on so I decided to tell her on the walk home. As we found our seats and waiting to leave, her and I both noticed that O'Neil sat only 3 seats away from the front. Vanessa and I looked at each other quizatively and I just shrugged, I didn't have time to explain. Now that O'Neil wasn't sitting with me, Vanessa snuck up to my seat and sat down. It was nice to have a seat mate I enjoyed talking to.
We felt the bus lurch forward as it started to move but then pulled over to the curb and stop. The bus driver parked and walked down to the VP who was waiting on the sidewalk. They chatted a few minutes, each taking turns to look in our direction. We couldn't hear what they were saying, but it was evident neither of them were happy.
Minutes later the driver and the VP boarded and started walking directly towards me with a stern look. I had no idea what they were going to do or say, but I was about to find out.
"She told me she never actually said no.." The VP started
"WHAT?! Are you seriously going to try to justify your actions with that statement?? Are you honestly going to say that because she didn't say the exact word.. she didn't say 'NO' to him, that it's her fault? She came to YOU to make it stop and what did you do?? Not a Goddamn thing! You made the situation worse! Do you know what he did to her after you talked to him? He HIT HER!"
"Well, she never came back so I thought.."
"EXCUSE ME?? She never came back??? Why the hell would she?!? She came to you 1st, she saw what happened when she did come to you.. why didn't YOU follow up? YOU ARE THE ADULT! YOU ARE THE VP! IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!"
"Ma'am, if you would just calm d.."
"Don't you DARE tell me to calm down! This is my DAUGHTER! You want to know what ELSE he's done to her?"
Before the VP was able to respond, my Mother went into detail of the things I told her that morning. Before she was finished, the VP interupted her..
"Well, did your DAUGHTER also tell you she was kicked off the bus yesterday for assulting a student?" The VP asked with her arrogance coming back to her.
"OH! Thank you for bringing that up! Yes, as a matter of fact she DID tell me! And do you know WHY she 'assulted' him, as you so want to put it. She was defending herself! HE was ASSULTING HER! So, again! This school has failed my child and her safety! Not only have you not stopped the abuse she was receiving from another student, who I might add is WAY too old to be in her own grade, but then the bus driver KICKS HER OFF THE BUS MIDRIDE?? Where in your policy does it state that THAT is acceptable? Because of the business I am in, I know for a FACT you are NOT allowed to KICK a child off the bus once it leaves the school. If there is a problem with a child, the parents are called and the child has to wait at the school for a ride. You better hope to GOD you don't lose your job, the bus driver doesn't lose his, and you don't have criminal charges brought against BOTH of you for this! If I do proceed with charges, you BOTH can kiss your careers goodbye!"
"Ma'am, if you would just.."
By now my mother was standing up again, leaning over the desk about 3 inches from the VP's face, "Just shut up! It's obvious you are a complete idiot and don't know how to do your job right! I'm done speaking with you! I just wanted to come in here to let you know you pissed off the wrong parent! If my child comes home with so much as a red mark on her body from that boy, there WILL be hell to pay and you might as well pack up your things and leave town because I'm coming back FOR YOU! I expect that from now on, it will be made sure that this boy does not come in contact with her at all. He better not even sit on the same side of the bus with her. J, grab your things, we're leaving."
With that, I picked up my bag and followed my mom out of the office into the hallway.
"J, I'm really sorry, but you're going to have to ride the bus home today after school, we'll figure something out for the rest of the time. But I just can't come back and pick you up and your dad's in meetings all day. He doesn't even know what's going on, I couldn't reach him, otherwise he'd be in here too. But call me as soon as you get home and let me know how it goes."
She gave me a long hug and a kiss and walked out. School had already started so I ran back into the office to get a pass for being late. The secretary, who obviously heard most of the conversation, didn't argue with me and slid the pass across the counter without making eye contact.
As I walked to class, I said a silent prayer, wishing Vanessa was there, even if it was only for moral support. The rest of the day went by in a fog and I was nervous about the ride home. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that this was going to be the last day I had to ride the bus. I went to my locker to grab the rest of my things and started towards the bus when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and was shocked to see Vanessa running after me, "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming in today?"
"Well, my last appointment got canceled so my dad brought me in so I could at least go to my last 2 classes. Stupid if you ask me, but you know my dad. Did I miss anything today?"
I wanted to fill her in on what happened in the office that morning, but we were already at the bus, waiting our turn to get on so I decided to tell her on the walk home. As we found our seats and waiting to leave, her and I both noticed that O'Neil sat only 3 seats away from the front. Vanessa and I looked at each other quizatively and I just shrugged, I didn't have time to explain. Now that O'Neil wasn't sitting with me, Vanessa snuck up to my seat and sat down. It was nice to have a seat mate I enjoyed talking to.
We felt the bus lurch forward as it started to move but then pulled over to the curb and stop. The bus driver parked and walked down to the VP who was waiting on the sidewalk. They chatted a few minutes, each taking turns to look in our direction. We couldn't hear what they were saying, but it was evident neither of them were happy.
Minutes later the driver and the VP boarded and started walking directly towards me with a stern look. I had no idea what they were going to do or say, but I was about to find out.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Butterflies... take me away..
I tried to finish my breakfast while waiting for my mom to get to work, but I just couldn't eat it. The butterflies in my stomach were starting to make me sick. I hated directly lying to my parents and I had a really hard time doing it. I would stumble over my words and it would be a dead give-a-way.
I threw the rest of my breakfast in the trash, took a deep breath and dialed her work number. One the 3rd ring she answered:
"Hey Mom, I uhh, was calling because I feel like crap and uhh don't want to go to school."
"Hmm.. oh really? Well, what's wrong?"
"My stomach hurts really bad and I feel like I'm going to throw up" Which WAS the truth, but it was my nerves and nothing more.
"Does this have anything to do with Vanessa calling you this morning?"
"No"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"What's really going on? Did you not do your homework last night?"
"No, I did it. I really, honestly, don't feel good"
"Do you have a test you didn't study for?"
"No. Really!! Mom!! I don't feel good and don't want to go!" I was starting to lose my patients! Why couldn't she just say O.K.??
"I don't believe you're really sick, J. What's going on? Tell me right now!!" Apparently she was starting to lose her patients as well. I don't know why, if it was her yelling at me or what, but I broke down crying.
"J, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I.... (sob).. don't.. (sob).. want to.. (sob).. ride the..(sob).. bus (sob)."
"WHAT? I can't understand you. Settle down. Now.. what are you trying to say?"
I took a deep breath and tried to start again. "Mom, there's a guy on the bus. He's mean to me and I'm afraid of him"
"What do you mean he's 'mean' to you?"
"He hits me sometimes and touches me"
"Hits you?? Touches you where?"
"Up my skirt or shorts, down my shirt, what ever he decides and yes, hits me. Especially if I try to push him away or tell him no."
"I'll be home in 15 min, be dressed! You're going to school and I'm taking you!" She yelled then hung up the phone before even saying goodbye. I held the phone to my ear wondering what was going to happen now. Did I make the right decision? Of course I did, but at what price? Oh my God! What was my father going to do when he found out??
I showered in record time and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I was in no mood to dress up for school. Just as I was sliding my shoes on I heard my mother practically bust the garage door leading into the house down.
"J!" She shouted
"Yea! I'll be right out"
I slinked out of my room. avoiding all eye contact with her. I was too embarressed to look at her and didn't want her looking at me.
"Sit down and I want you to tell me EVERYTHING. From the time it started to now." My mom demanded
I took a deep breath and started at the very begining. I explained the bruises I lied to her about before, I explained my foul moods and I explained what really happened with the bump to my head. To say she was mad would be an understatement. Thankfully though, she decided to overlook my drinking episode for the most part with only a comment: "Don't EVER do that again"
After I finished the whole story, I was in tears and was shaking. She walked over and sat next to me on the couch and hugged me. Finally, she pulled away and said we were going to my school and she was going to have a chat with the VP. I also explained what happened when I TRIED to talk to the VP. With nothing more than a pursed lip, she turned and walked back to the garage. I knew when my mom was in this mood to not say too much, it would only make her angrier.
We pulled up to my school shortly after and I didn't want to get out of the car. The butterflies in my stomach felt like they were going to take flight and I wished they would take me with them. I didn't want to be there and surely didn't want to go inside. But, like all mom's, she forced me out of the car and we went inside.
At the counter of the front office my mother made her presence known; "I want to speak to the VP, NOW!" She leaned over the counter, gripping it like it was the only thing holding her up at that moment.
"The VP is out at the bus ramps still and won't be in for another 20 minutes. If you tell me why....." The secretary started but was cut off by my mother's growing temper.
"I don't care WHAT she's doing! You get her in here RIGHT NOW! And NO I will NOT WAIT and NO I will NOT tell YOU why I'm here! It involves my child and that's all you need to know!" My mother's grip on the counter was tighter and her knuckles were starting to turn white. I knew my mom had a temper but I never witnessed it before.
"Yes ma'am. I'll call her. If you would just take a seat please.."
Without another word, my mother found a chair in the waiting room and sat down. I followed behind her quietly.
A few minutes later the VP walked into the office with an arrogance. "You requested to see me? What can I do for you?"
"First, you can take this to your office. I'm not having this discussion out here" My mother snapped back as she stood. Guess my mom noticed the VP's arrogance, too.
The VP looked a little surprised but ushered us into a small private office a few doors down.
"Please... have a seat"
My mother and I sat across from the arrogant women and I waited for someone to speak. It wasn't a surprise that it was my mother who spoke.. or rather.. yelled first.
I threw the rest of my breakfast in the trash, took a deep breath and dialed her work number. One the 3rd ring she answered:
"Hey Mom, I uhh, was calling because I feel like crap and uhh don't want to go to school."
"Hmm.. oh really? Well, what's wrong?"
"My stomach hurts really bad and I feel like I'm going to throw up" Which WAS the truth, but it was my nerves and nothing more.
"Does this have anything to do with Vanessa calling you this morning?"
"No"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"What's really going on? Did you not do your homework last night?"
"No, I did it. I really, honestly, don't feel good"
"Do you have a test you didn't study for?"
"No. Really!! Mom!! I don't feel good and don't want to go!" I was starting to lose my patients! Why couldn't she just say O.K.??
"I don't believe you're really sick, J. What's going on? Tell me right now!!" Apparently she was starting to lose her patients as well. I don't know why, if it was her yelling at me or what, but I broke down crying.
"J, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I.... (sob).. don't.. (sob).. want to.. (sob).. ride the..(sob).. bus (sob)."
"WHAT? I can't understand you. Settle down. Now.. what are you trying to say?"
I took a deep breath and tried to start again. "Mom, there's a guy on the bus. He's mean to me and I'm afraid of him"
"What do you mean he's 'mean' to you?"
"He hits me sometimes and touches me"
"Hits you?? Touches you where?"
"Up my skirt or shorts, down my shirt, what ever he decides and yes, hits me. Especially if I try to push him away or tell him no."
"I'll be home in 15 min, be dressed! You're going to school and I'm taking you!" She yelled then hung up the phone before even saying goodbye. I held the phone to my ear wondering what was going to happen now. Did I make the right decision? Of course I did, but at what price? Oh my God! What was my father going to do when he found out??
I showered in record time and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I was in no mood to dress up for school. Just as I was sliding my shoes on I heard my mother practically bust the garage door leading into the house down.
"J!" She shouted
"Yea! I'll be right out"
I slinked out of my room. avoiding all eye contact with her. I was too embarressed to look at her and didn't want her looking at me.
"Sit down and I want you to tell me EVERYTHING. From the time it started to now." My mom demanded
I took a deep breath and started at the very begining. I explained the bruises I lied to her about before, I explained my foul moods and I explained what really happened with the bump to my head. To say she was mad would be an understatement. Thankfully though, she decided to overlook my drinking episode for the most part with only a comment: "Don't EVER do that again"
After I finished the whole story, I was in tears and was shaking. She walked over and sat next to me on the couch and hugged me. Finally, she pulled away and said we were going to my school and she was going to have a chat with the VP. I also explained what happened when I TRIED to talk to the VP. With nothing more than a pursed lip, she turned and walked back to the garage. I knew when my mom was in this mood to not say too much, it would only make her angrier.
We pulled up to my school shortly after and I didn't want to get out of the car. The butterflies in my stomach felt like they were going to take flight and I wished they would take me with them. I didn't want to be there and surely didn't want to go inside. But, like all mom's, she forced me out of the car and we went inside.
At the counter of the front office my mother made her presence known; "I want to speak to the VP, NOW!" She leaned over the counter, gripping it like it was the only thing holding her up at that moment.
"The VP is out at the bus ramps still and won't be in for another 20 minutes. If you tell me why....." The secretary started but was cut off by my mother's growing temper.
"I don't care WHAT she's doing! You get her in here RIGHT NOW! And NO I will NOT WAIT and NO I will NOT tell YOU why I'm here! It involves my child and that's all you need to know!" My mother's grip on the counter was tighter and her knuckles were starting to turn white. I knew my mom had a temper but I never witnessed it before.
"Yes ma'am. I'll call her. If you would just take a seat please.."
Without another word, my mother found a chair in the waiting room and sat down. I followed behind her quietly.
A few minutes later the VP walked into the office with an arrogance. "You requested to see me? What can I do for you?"
"First, you can take this to your office. I'm not having this discussion out here" My mother snapped back as she stood. Guess my mom noticed the VP's arrogance, too.
The VP looked a little surprised but ushered us into a small private office a few doors down.
"Please... have a seat"
My mother and I sat across from the arrogant women and I waited for someone to speak. It wasn't a surprise that it was my mother who spoke.. or rather.. yelled first.
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